Did you know that only 8% of people that make a New Year’s Resolution actually keep it according to Forbes magazine? So basically 9 in 10 people quit before achieving their goal. I’m part of that quitter club and have been for most of my life. Year after year I would set a goal, usually an unrealistic weight loss goal, and take off full speed toward it only to fizzle out after a few days or weeks. Can you relate?
What makes a person an over-comer? What traits to these people exhibit on a daily basis that sets them up for success? I myself want to know as I am in the throes of another weight loss attempt. What I do know is I cannot trudge through yet another failed attempt at this endeavor. Every fruitless encounter will yield more damage to my fragile psychological state in this area. Repeated failed attempts seem to reinforce the underlying premise that I cannot succeed no matter how hard I try.
I thought the best way to learn WHAT I SHOULD DO was to take a look at WHAT I SHOULDN’T DO because I seem to have that down pat.
WHAT I SHOULDN’T DO TO REACH MY GOAL:
1) COMPLAIN ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS EVERYDAY. Complaining about how hard something is everyday will actually make the tasks more difficult and you will begin to believe it is impossible. When we believe something is impossible we stop trying eventually. The situation becomes hopeless. It is the concept Pavlov discovered with his dogs in the laboratory called learned helplessness.
2) NEVER PLAN. Whether you are trying to lose weight, get promoted at your job or start your own business, if you plan to fail you might as well plan on failing. Reaching your goals is going to be work and you will need a plan to get there.
3) NEVER ASK FOR HELP. Obviously, if you could fix this by yourself you would have already done it right? You will need to accept that you will need someone to reach into the trenches and help pull you up. Reaching out to someone stronger than you are in particular area will give you the momentum you need to start the process. Sometimes we are bogged down in our mess and we lack the strength to stand up on our own.
4) FOCUS ONLY ON BEHAVIOR. In my opinion this is why so many attempts end in failure. Focusing on behavior modification only temporarily enables progress and success. You need to get to the root of WHY you keep reverting back to old behaviors. Yes you need to replace unhealthy behaviors with healthy ones but you also need to deal with the underlying root of it. For example, are you binging on high fat, processed, carbohydrate rich foods in an attempt to “feel better?” Is it possible that you struggle with depression so your body has discovered that sugary, fatty foods produce an increase in serotonin and dopamine levels? Thereby eating those foods seems to make you happier? You would not uncover that reality unless you were conscious enough to draw the correlation between the two.
5) DON’T CELEBRATE THE SMALL VICTORIES. Having tunnel vision on a life-changing quest is a sure-fire way to sabotage your own efforts. You need to celebrate every time you achieve another milestone. This kind of positive reinforcement will help you to continue the momentum you already have going for you.
6) TALK NEGATIVELY TO YOURSELF. Beating yourself up over mistakes and poor choices will derail you from your goal. However, treating yourself the way you would treat someone else (hopefully that is good) will set you up for success.
7) MAKE EXCUSES. When we aren’t honest with ourselves we cannot grow. We cannot change that which we conceal. Basically, when we make excuses we are protecting ourselves against the need to change.
Now we know some of the things we shouldn’t do to be successful. What should we do?
WHAT I SHOULD DO TO REACH MY GOAL:
1) REJOICE. Yes I said rejoice when something is extremely hard rather than complain. Why? Because rejoicing in a challenging situation will open your eyes to the amazing transformation that is occurring in you. You are becoming the person you wanted to be all along. Yes it’s hard, yes it hurts but it will be worth it in the end. Rejoicing shifts your focus to the positive instead of the negative in the situation.
2) ARM YOURSELF WITH A PLAN. When I finally decided that this was the last time I was going to feel awful and be this overweight, I knew I needed to get a strategic game plan together. No battle is ever won without a strategy. What military commander would go to war without having planned a course of action? Why would we think we could just haphazardly reach our goal by sheer willpower or by wishing it?
3) SOLICIT EXPERT HELP. Finding someone who is an expert at what you are trying to accomplish is of paramount importance when you are on a life-changing journey. You need someone who has been where you are, struggled with the same things you have and can teach you what to do. The second component to that is accountability with that person. Accountability will keep you focused and moving forward.
4) ADOPT A HOLISTIC APPROACH. Adopting a holistic approach will help keep balance in your life. We are a triune being made up of body, soul and spirit. All three parts need to be addressed to achieve maximum results. Perhaps in past times you have only focused on the physical aspect of your being and neglected your emotions or spirit thereby sabotaging your goals. Sometimes we are dealing with an issue that keeps resurfacing with every failed attempt at our goal. That issue needs to be dealt with so that we can move forward in our quest.
5) CELEBRATE EVERY SINGLE VICTORY. Imagine a lively football game with a really close score board. There are cheerleaders there and every time their team gains a few yards or a touchdown they respond with a cheer and praise for the team. Imagine the response of that team every time they are cheered on. That is exactly the kind of momentum you need to keep the ball moving in your favor. You can cheer yourself on but enlisting the help of another cheerleader will greatly help you continue your quest.
6) SPEAK LIFE OVER YOURSELF. Instead of constantly saying “I can’t do this” or “I am going to fail again” start your day with “Shana you can do this” or “Shana you are not going to fail this time”. Not only did I flip the negative into a positive but research also shows that if we speak to ourselves in third person we actually respond more positively. We process that voicing differently, as if someone else is talking to us.
7) DO NOT MAKE EXCUSES. Often times our excuses are so flimsy and ridiculous. If it is the excuse of not having time, remember everybody has the same 24 hours in a day that you do. If you are making excuses about money take inventory and see how many times you are stopping at Starbucks every week. Maybe you make excuses to justify why you just ate that cupcake (hopefully you didn’t just do that). Things like “well everyone else at the office was eating them so I felt like I needed one” or “this is the last time I am __________” are just a smoke screen for something else going on internally. Maybe you feel like your life is chaotic and engaging in that unhealthy behavior relieves the pressure for a minute. Or maybe you feel like your life isn’t fair and that’s how you cope with it. Whatever you are struggling with will be exposed by uncovering the root of your excuses. Use them as cues to dig for what is really going on instead of caving in every time.
NOW GO CHANGE THE WORLD!
God speed on your journey to victory! Just adopting these changes into your life could yield amazing results! You can change and you can be successful!
