Sometimes God just doesn’t make sense, does He? I suppose human beings attempting to fully understand the Almighty is equivalent to an ant trying to comprehend algebra. That’s a ridiculous idea. Although we CAN understand a few things about God and His plans, there is so much more that we CANNOT understand, not yet anyway.
I ran into such a moment a few days ago. A friend of mine invited me to lead worship at an event she hosted. I agreed to help out only two days prior to the event. I did my best to prepare a few songs and listen to the Lord’s heart for what He wanted. The thing is, my voice is not what it used to be. For years, I sang with horrible technique and damaged my vocal cords. The last few years felt like ice skating in front of people, and we don’t ice skate here in East Texas; it’s never cold enough to freeze the ponds. So needless to say, I don’t know how to ice skate. Singing started to feel that way to me. I never knew when I would slip and fall in front of the whole world basically. Not fun.
But I agreed to lead worship at my friend’s event solely out of obedience to the Lord. I was willing to risk it for Him if that’s what He wanted. I stood there, a calm exterior but shaking on the inside.
Another worship leader attended as well and lead a few songs. I decided to stop thinking about potentially embarrassing myself “ice skating” in front of complete strangers. I started to notice the atmosphere in the room shift a bit. I could hear the Lord very clearly downloading a message that He wanted me to share. The word came with a vision that popped in my head out of nowhere. I knew it was Him, this wasn’t the first time He showed me things like that. It’s been getting stronger and stronger the last few years. A slow subtle shift in the season and calling of my life. I fought it for so long because I could only see myself one way, in one role. It was the familiar, the thing that always defined me. How could I lay my guitar down- it was part of my identity! Who would I be without it?
I felt Him calling me into the unknown. So finally, when it was my turn to lead a few songs, I put my guitar down. I released the word He gave me. I gave no apologies for it and delivered it exactly as He told me to.
Of course, the word released brought healing to the person that needed to hear it. And that mattered tremendously to me. But here’s what mattered the most…….my obedience. It was a test of obedience for me. Thank God, I passed it. Did I understand it??? No, I did not. And so many times, we won’t understand what or why God is telling us to do something. That may (or may not) come later.
I fear that we possibly assign too much weight to “understanding” the what and why’s of God. I think there is way too much leaning on our understanding going on. I say that because I need to hear it every single day of my life. I suppose the leaning on our own understanding is the cause of much of our stress, anxiety and depression. The muddled, confusing mess we find ourselves in was never what God intended for us. He wants to come to Him like a child. I don’t know if you are aware of this or not, but children do not understand a lot about the world around them. But they can tell when someone is kind to them. When someone loves them. When they feel safe. They know these kinds of things.
Are we really any different? Maybe what we crave is not KNOWING everything, but instead experiencing safety, peace, assurance of being loved. Those are the things we should focus on, and we have those in abundance because of our relationship to the Father through Jesus.
Come on somebody…aren’t you tired of being exhausted from trying to figure out EVERYTHING in your life and why God did or did not do something…why that door did not open but the other one did, etc. It’s time to just humble ourselves and become like the children we are before the Lord. We can rest in His presence. We are safe, cared for and loved.
I’ll leave you with these words from Jesus:
Matthew 18:2-4 NIV 2 He called a little child to him and placed the child among them. 3 And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4 Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
