I walked into the room and my heart sank. I could feel the icy pull of jealousy and envy twisting at my heart again. Am I really going to go here again?? I thought I was over this- I thought I had outgrown the childish need to compare myself to the prettiest or most talented girl in the room, but alas I guess not.
For some reason I still have moments that I feel like I’m not enough and those times leak out like an infection at the worst times. I feel repulsed by it but also angry that I STILL struggle sometimes after all of the history He and I have together.
Honestly, how could he prove His love for me anymore than He already has?? What would really soothe that aching cavernous hole in me that constantly needs reassurance that He loves me unconditionally just as much as the next person? But I look at other’s lives and it seems like they have it all together. They seem so blessed and perfect. The favor of God is sprinkled over their lives. They have the perfect job, marriage, body, etc. Or so it seems.
And then I realize someone is probably watching my life and thinking the same thing about me! They probably think I am some incredibly successful music artist that is booked up for the next 2 years. That I have to turn venues down because I’m so popular. Or maybe they believe I have thousands upon thousands of dollars in the bank and I’m rolling. But none of that is true.
I call and email churches and venues nonstop with very few successful bookings from my efforts. My husband and I make a good living but we don’t have a ton extra. I struggle some days to not give up on the dreams God put in me.
The truth is that when we look at others we end up caught in the comparison trap. And it’s a hard place to escape. But we can if we learn a few important principles.
1) Gratitude. Living in a place of ungratefulness is the sin that led Cain to murder is own brother, Abel. God didn’t like Cain better than Abel, He just saw that Abel’s heart intent was pure. Cain thought that God liked Abel better and allowed jealousy to enter, which tainted his act of worship. You can read that story in Genesis chapter 4.
We need to approach God every day from a place of gratitude and thanksgiving. We can thank Him by worshipping with the tools He gave us and not worry that someone else’s gift is better, or God loves them more because they are superior to us in some way.
2) Receive the extravagant love of God. If we keep getting caught in the comparison trap then we haven’t fully embraced God’s great love for us. Translation: we aren’t spending enough time in the word hearing His voice or experiencing His presence. We need an ongoing encounter with God. We were made for fellowship with Him and when we don’t get that we fall prey to dumb things like comparison traps.
This isn’t meant to be an exhaustive list about what causes us to get caught up in comparing, but I think you can see it goes back to our basic need of feeling loved and being affirmed. If you feel insecure and unloved, I encourage you to seek the heart of God and ask Him to reveal to you personally His great love for you. I know He is faithful to His children.
I know that He loves diversity in His children. He created us all differently because He has the capacity to love us all uniquely but equally! What an amazing Father and what beauty He has placed in all of us.
Let’s celebrate each other and exit the comparison trap!
