I hate lukewarm coffee. As a matter of fact, if my coffee starts to get close to room temperature while I’m reading my Bible or whatever, I’ll go and pour it out. I only like my coffee hot or cold because it tastes awful at room temperature. Actually, I have to hold back the involuntary upchuck reflex I feel when I take a sip of lukewarm coffee.
Totally disgusting.
You know where I’m going with this right? Over the past few years I’ve witnessed a slow decline in Christian culture. I’m including myself in this little slide to lukewarmness. This is how it happened with me. For most of my adult life, I lived comfortably around other Jesus lovers, and we all went to church 3-4 times a week together. I woke up every single day and spent a pretty large chunk of time praying and doing intense bible study. It really didn’t seem to be a struggle for me to stay passionate about Jesus because I spent hours daily and weekly in His presence and around His people. I mean sure, there were times that I felt draggy or sad but I knew that if I stayed consistent with my intentional pursuit of Him that eventually He would revive me. And then my life changed dramatically. I had to go back to working a secular job. We felt God leading us to close our church. I felt alone and severely wounded. And betrayed. I questioned this God that seemed to break my heart and lie to me. Of course, those were all lies but I felt powerless to believe them.
Slowly, I began to regress. Depression became a constant companion for me. Bitterness and anger replaced my healthy relationships from the church. I started to loosen up the reigns of my life a bit, listening to music that I should not have listened to, eating way too much cake and binging on Netflix. I never moved into full blown rebellion, but I know that all sin leads to death. In my heart I disconnected myself from God and didn’t want His help. I started to notice myself reacting and talking in ways that do not glorify God. Some people mistakenly call this “freedom”, being able to say or do anything you want whenever you feel like it and having no restraints morally. But I couldn’t continue down that road, the guilt ate away at me every day. I felt miserable, not free. Powerless. Alone. I had reached the point of lukewarm and I hated it. I knew if I kept it up I would be completely cold at some point and I didn’t want that.
I remember occasionally seeing flashes in my mind of times with friends and family and time spent in God’s presence. I longed for that warmth in my life again. I didn’t like who I had become without Jesus-the absolute worst version of myself. But the truth is I didn’t exactly know how to get back to that place. God began to create a deep hunger in me to seek Him again and step by step I started making my way back to a place of peace and passion for Him. I began to connect with His body again and made a collective effort to remove things from my life that did not glorify Him. I felt myself returning to the person He made me to be, but it wasn’t quick or easy.
I believe there are things that happen in our lives that can devastate us and lead to this lukewarm state. Pain causes us to either run to God or run from God. Since I felt like God allowed that situation (and He did) I decided I couldn’t trust Him. So I ran. But the truth is I’m not good at running but I did at least walk really fast in the opposite direction. It seemed God could not be trusted so I needed to get away from Him. Basically the pain was rooted in fear because I didn’t understand God’s infinite love for me and why He would allow the situation.
Living in a world full of violence, hatred and darkness can take its toll on us. Where I used to spend most of my days surrounded by other believers with common goals, I found myself around people that didn’t know Jesus the way I did. I’m not making a judgment call about these people because the truth is I liked most of them (not all lol) and they weren’t awful people or anything-they were actually good people with kind hearts. It’s just that our worldviews and priorities were different. That being the case, I found myself being exposed to different ideas and language that seemed foreign to me. But the more that I heard it, the more familiar it became to me, until it seemed common. And not just common, but part of my life too. I’m sure some people would question WHY I felt it to be a big deal. So what if people use profanity around you all day or tell crude jokes? But it is a huge deal because it slowly eroded away my passion for the holy things of God.
We stop connecting with the body of Christ. And because we do that we start to become lone sheep that are weak, stupid and easy prey. That’s the honest truth….painful but true. We are no match for the enemy when we are detached from the body. Being in a group brings strength, stability and safety. But being alone invites all sorts of attacks on our person. Satan looks for people that are alone because he knows they can easily be overpowered.
If you are in a season that is so difficult and painful that you are entertaining the thought of running from God, I’m begging you to do opposite! That momentary thrill of rebellion will soon be eclipsed by bad relationships, depression, or possible addictions that could last a lifetime. Sin, which is separation from God, ALWAYS leads to spiritual death. So, yes your flesh might be living it up but your spirit, the real you, will be miserable and you will feel empty. Because what you are really craving is being in the presence of your Father, the touch of Jesus and the companionship of the Holy Spirit. And a lukewarm life will never satisfy you.
