There is a girl at the gym that really doesn’t like me. And I don’t know why honestly. She’s thin, tatted up and very intimidating. Basically the total opposite of me. I’ve been racking my brain trying to figure out if I did something but nothing is making its way to the surface. I didn’t glare at her or swipe the closest parking space from her at the last minute. I didn’t hog the leg press machine or anything. I don’t even know why it bothers me so much, but it does.
I really didn’t think much of it but I noticed the other day that she is working the front counter now at my gym. Which makes me even more uncomfortable. Sometimes I order protein shakes or a bottle of water and I don’t want to talk to her because I think she hates me. Why do I think that, you ask?
Well that’s because of what happened the other day. I finished my super sweaty workout and dragged myself up to the counter to order a shake. She stood there with her back turned to me, deeply expressing herself to the 3 other employees standing in the reception area. I stood there waiting for someone to acknowledge me, which really never happened. She finally turned and saw me there…….and did absolutely nothing. She didn’t say or do anything. I would rather her tell me that yes she did in fact dislike me and clear the air than to completely ignore me. She grabbed her drink, walked over to the sitting area and left me standing there. Um ok…………am I invisible?
I tried not to take it personally but the next day I saw her chatting it up with a male customer at the front desk, complete with high fives. Wow…..so she only hates me? Or, maybe she just only dislikes other women? Ugh I hate it when people don’t like me! It makes me do crazy things.
I told my husband about it to which he informed me that she is from Russia, and immediately my brain switched to images of that huge Russian boxer in Rocky III. Oh so that’s what I’m dealing with, and I started to imagine all kinds of scenarios in my brain about her life in Russia. Was she mistreated? Are women mean to each other there? Is she a highly trained boxer? Cold? Indifferent? Isn’t that culture a little unfriendly in general?
In the midst of my imaginative thoughts about her life and why she hated me, I felt the gentle nudge that only the Holy Spirit graciously offers. I felt like he said, “You have a choice about what you believe. Instead of assuming she doesn’t like you, maybe she feels like you don’t like her.” Oh…….that drastically shifts the situation to a different perspective. Maybe I should offer a kind smile or say hi next time, instead of avoiding her. What a novel idea.
Isn’t it easy to assume whatever we think is true? How many times have you judged someone’s actions toward you as negative, when in fact they meant you no harm at all! Or better yet, have your actions been misinterpreted by others and all kinds of awful assumptions about you were formed? I have pages of those kinds of situations in my life! I can’t tell you how many people misinterpreted something I said or did and walked away in offense.
So here’s my advice to you and especially myself: We have a choice about what we believe, so choose wisely. Here are some tips about fixing an unhealthy thought life:
1. Weigh the thought against God’s word. Does it line up with the Bible? Is in in clear contrast to God’s opinion? Does the thought sound like Jesus at all? If you don’t know, do some research and see what He has to say about it.
2. Pray about it and ask the Holy Spirit to show you. Involve Him- He is your all-knowing guide who desires that you walk in freedom and truth. Ask Him for help and then trust that He will answer you.
3. Talk with a trusted friend or mentor. The key word here being ‘trusted’. Don’t chat with someone who will jump on the bandwagon with you and plot the alleged perpetrator’s demise. Find someone who isn’t afraid to tell you the truth.
Remember you always have a choice about what you believe. The enemy wants you to think you don’t, but the truth is we get to decide what we keep and what we toss. Don’t always just assume that every little thought that pops into your mind has the right to set up camp. You might find that you are entertaining a whole hosts of unwanted gypsies if you live like that. And you will find yourself very unstable in your thought life. The Bible calls this double-minded.
I hope this helps! I’m constantly working to improve my thought life as well. I truly believe a healthy thought life is the key to a wonderful life experience!
Be blessed friends!
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