My pulse quickened as I entered the gym. Most of my friends had gone before me, exhibiting their chirpy personalities coupled with perfected jumps and tumbling passes. Their shiny personalities were mesmerizing as they cheered their hearts out. I tried really hard to match their enthusiasm and excitement, but it was forced at best. So much of the cheer world is pretentious and I am just not a good pretender. I knew that but I plastered the fake smile on my face and attempted to impress the judges with my cheering abilities and amazing jumping skills on which I had worked tirelessly to perfect. Having been a cheerleader the previous 2 years I thought I had this one in the bag.
Seconds seemed like hours as we all waited for the list to be posted of the chosen ones. I frantically read through the names searching for mine. There must be a mistake I thought…my name isn’t here. My friends shouted their victories as I quietly crept out the door with tears streaming down my face. Welcome to rejection. Welcome to the world of not measuring up.
SUFFICIENTLY INSUFFICIENT
Inadequate. If one word could have summed up what my 16 year old heart was feeling, that was the word. I am insufficient. I am inadequate. I am not good enough. I had finally fallen short of the measuring stick of greatness and it was devastating.
I eventually rebounded and redirected my life, or God did I should say. It was like finding a rainbow after a thunderstorm. I realized I was not who I thought I was but I was much more. Through that rejection I discovered I had other abilities that had never been tapped into. I was sufficiently insufficient in the area of cheerleading and that brought freedom to my life. I realized I could just be me, with all of my quirky idiosyncrasies. God knew my personality and had a place that was perfect for me to continue to grow and develop in.
So many times in our lives we are convinced we are insufficient as a person. The truth is we all are insufficient, that’s why Jesus came and gave his life to redeem us. We misunderstand that a rejection in an area is not a rejection of us as a person. We are all damaged but redeemed. We are all broken but inhabited by God (I pray you are). Our worth is not measured by silly titles or positions. Being a daughter or son of God trumps any other position we aspire to hold.
THE MEASURING STICK
The measuring stick is not limited by age. We keep pulling it out every time we fail. With every shortcoming we remind ourselves how we are losers and can never get it right. The measuring stick becomes our god, telling us what our value is or isn’t and demanding us to try harder. We become slaves to the performance god, instead of doting children who love and are loved by their father. When the measuring stick is our god, we are never free to just be a son or daughter of god. Our endless pursuit of being “enough” never leaves us a moment to rest in His presence and rid ourselves of the lie that we can earn God’s approval.
There is really only one way to break the measuring stick: embrace God’s love. When we embrace God’s love we find an acceptance that we never knew existed. We find freedom. For the first time we are not obsessed with trying to look like, sound like and be like everyone else. God’s love is the perfect refuge for our desperate souls. Instead of striving we find effortless living.
JESUS LOVES BROKEN, MESSED UP PEOPLE
Perfectionists struggle with receiving anything that they didn’t earn. However, in God’s kingdom, we can only receive because of our faith in Jesus. Jesus loves us. Every broken, fragile part of us. We have to learn to allow God’s love to cover our brokenness and creep into our being, filling us up so we don’t need accomplishments to justify our existence.
I have a 17 year old daughter that I am crazy about. She is beautiful, bubbly, sassy and quick-witted. She makes me laugh uncontrollably sometimes. Other times she makes me cry. One day, when she was about 12, she asked me a really important question that I was not ready to answer. “Mom,” she said, “Do you think maybe someday when I grow up I can be like you? I could travel and sing?” I couldn’t hardly even reply. A huge lump came up in my throat and I had to wait a few seconds before I could answer. You see, I didn’t want her to go through all of the rejection I had felt during my musical pursuits. I wanted her to live a pain-free, rejection deficient life. But the truth is she was born to sing. She was singing at church when she was 4 years old and singing at school programs at 7. She is now the worship leader for her youth group. How could I answer such a difficult question? I finally said, “Yes babe, if that is what God has for you.”
She has embraced God’s love and is living it out every day. She sings because she loves Him and that is her expression of love to Him. She recently said this during a worship service at church:
“Worship is a response to a relationship we don’t deserve” – Alyssa Strange
Wise words from a 17 year old that gets it. It’s not about accomplishments. She isn’t singing to impress people or God. It is her response to His love. She has embraced God’s love so I am not worried that rejection will damage her soul. If she encounters rejection, and she probably will, I don’t think it will deter her because God’s love is holding her steady.
Embrace God’s love. Let go of the need for titles. So what if you didn’t make cheerleader……you are embraced by God. Loved by God. Treasured by Him. Yes Jesus loves YOU and you can break the measuring stick.
